Thomas Wictor

CONTESTS

Urn

Tim

Make Me Eat My Book

I generally don’t read reviews of my work. However, those of you who hate Ghosts and Ballyhoo can tell me why. If you convince me that it’s a worthless piece of garbage, I’ll eat a copy of the book, film myself doing it, and post the video here. You have to be specific, though. Tell me what makes it so putrid that I have to eat my own words.

Fill out the form and include your review. If I agree that you’re right, I’ll read your review out loud on camera and then film myself eating the book.

Since doing so will kill me, you have to have some really good reasons for hating Ghosts and Ballyhoo. I’m not going to die just because the book isn’t your cup of tea. Your job is to prove that I deserve to forfeit my life for producing such manure. The bar is set pretty high, but I have faith in you!

The copy you win will be in the form of ash, mixed with my own ashes and packaged in an attractive, sealed urn. My brother Tim will arrange for the transfer, in compliance with all state and federal regulations.

This line will have a link to a video of me reading your review and then eating the book.



Terms and Conditions

All decisions by me—the mastermind behind these contests—are final, arbitrary, and based entirely on my subjective opinion. Unless you bribe me. I’d say $50,000 would ensure a first-place win. However, if your victory is bought instead of earned, I’ll have to make that clear when I post your winning entry. I can’t have people thinking that I have no taste. If I choose crap as the winner, everybody has to understand that it was because I was paid to do so. Other than that, there are no terms or conditions. And you can enter as many times as you want.