Thomas Wictor

Archive for the ‘Weirdness’ Category

Calm down and and watch Gary

Today the Supreme Court decided on Burwell, Secretary of Health and Human Services [HHS] et al v Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. et al. The histrionics over the decision is really beyond moronic, but it’s sadly what I’ve come to expect from our increasingly juvenile, teeth-gnashing, pop-eyed-with-rage culture. All I want to say is calm down…

 

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What’s with guys named Tim Murray?

A story about a Republican congressional candidate named Tim Murray caught my attention. Tim is contesting the June 24 primary election for Oklahoma’s Third District. The winner was Representative Frank Lucas, a twenty-year incumbent who got 82 percent of the vote. I’ll let the Honorable Tim Murray explain in his own words why he’s contesting…

 

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Call a doctor! She’s having an allergic reaction!

The uncensored version of the video for “Blurred Lines” made an overnight star out of Emily Ratajkowski, the brunette. She was the first woman in the history of the human race to publicly bare her breasts. Now she’s on the cover of GQ. What struck me about her affect in “Blurred Lines”—yes, I was looking…

 

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Hey. What’s the game?

In July of 2011, my neighbor came close to dying. He’s a morbidly obese man whose wife hasn’t been out of the house in five years. The last time we saw her, she was walking down the sidewalk to the ice-cream truck. Her stomach was like a frozen waterfall, hanging down past her knees. She…

 

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My meandering belligerence

About fifteen years ago, I used to listen to music on the radio. Easily the most annoying song in heavy rotation was “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen.” I couldn’t escape it. Someone produced a brilliant parody that I can’t find, but it contained the words “my meandering belligerence.” Someone must feel that way about my…

 

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Time to cull the herd

Today I said goodbye to my doctor of ten years. He’s being forced into retirement by Obamacare. Since the new regulations were written by bureaucrats instead of doctors, we can look forward to more such retirements beginning next year. I hate change, but I hate useless, fucked-up, ugly people even more. It’s time to cull…

 

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Johnny, I hardly knew ye

I got a friend request. When I clicked the avatar, Facebook told me that the person doesn’t exist. Johnny, I hardly knew ye. Everything’s off kilter. It’s called a “preference cascade.” The global preference right now is for insanity. That’s fine. I’ll watch from afar, emotionally speaking. Christ, I wish I could watch from afar…

 

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Things I never did because I knew they’d kill me

Today I got a World War One postcard from Estonia. The envelope had a stamp on it that reminded me of the time I didn’t listen to the little voice in my head that warned me to not to be an idiot. I paid for not listening. The few times I ignored that voice, I’ve…

 

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Hell is other people. In cars.

I used to dread vacations when Dad was in charge. His idea of taking time off as a family was to pile into the car at the crack of dawn, drive until lunch, eat, and then drive until sunset. And we couldn’t talk. As a teenager I discovored Jean-Paul Sartre’s famous quote “Hell is other…

 

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Frigging dumb limbo mumbo jumbo

One of my favorite films is Altered States, starring William Hurt and Blair Brown. It’s about a man who searches for meaning and feels entirely cut off from everybody. I love Charles Haid’s epic rant that ends with, “I’m not going to listen to any more of your cabalistic, quantum, frigging dumb, limbo mumbo jumbo!”…

 

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