Greg left the party every half-hour or so, saying he had to go home to check on the sprinklers, or make a phone call, or “do…uh, something.” He came back a little more friendly and a little looser each time. Greg planned on moving his family up north somewhere; he wasn’t any more specific than…
Situation normal for Korea
December 7, 2013
Ever been to Korea? Here’s pretty much what the entire culture is like. “Why are you doing that? Stop it! Be normal, can’t you?” I guess is what the family is saying. It’s all contrived, I’m sure, so I don’t care. What interests me is the fact that the daughter’s had cosmetic surgery to make…
My blue eyes are brown
December 3, 2013
The Hampshire College Sex Blog got a question from Anonymous. How do you recommend women keep their genitals fresh and clean without any unnatural products? Here’s the beginning of the answer: Great question! First, we’d like to quickly address the language of saying “women” instead of “female-bodied people:” not everyone who identifies as a woman…
A very bad man, part one
December 1, 2013
We live in a golden age of flim-flammery. A lot of you reading this are depressed and aghast at what you see; my parents were too. They couldn’t believe how the world had changed since they were born. So to give you a sense of proportion, I’ll tell the story of the most merciless, predatory,…
A very bad man, part two
December 1, 2013
There was no sense of order at all, piles of debris having simply been dumped wherever a clear space had existed. It was a scene of such devastation that I immediately lost all desire to browse and decided to leave. I greeted Larry and engaged him in our ritualized banter, but his heart wasn’t in…
A very bad man, part three
December 1, 2013
He simply would not listen, would not change the way he did things, and would not stop bringing in more and more junk that nobody on the planet wanted. We had no idea how this three-quarters-dead old man would leave another four hundred pounds of crap for us to sort, but he pulled off this…
A very bad man, part four
December 1, 2013
When we arrived at Larry’s hanger, he told us he didn’t have the key, so we’d have to go home. Instead, Tim took a crowbar from his car and silently broke the lock while Larry wailed. Inside, we learned the last of Larry’s secrets. His hidden treasure was a landfill of magazines, cardboard boxes, empty…
A very bad man, part five
December 1, 2013
After we were back within our own walls, I waited an hour and then called Larry’s home number. He answered with his mouth full and told me that he was perfectly okay. I could hear his television blasting in the background “I’m really sorry, but I can’t come back,” I said. “Yeah, sure, I understand….
I feared all the wrong things
November 25, 2013
All my worst fears came true. Since childhood I feared pain, isolation, humiliation, incurable illness, predation, failure, suffering, loneliness, not fitting in… And earwigs. More about the earwigs in a minute. In retrospect I feared all the wrong things, since everything I feared eventually came to pass. Tim and I have had this discussion many…
How to recognize trouble
November 24, 2013
In the two weeks encompassing Mom’s funeral and burial, Tim and I had to deal with quite a lot of people. Many of them are the kind we’ve permanently banished from our lives. Yesterday I woke from a horrendous nightmare that I won’t relate. I was chilled to the bone, my teeth chattering, so I…