It started with one of the worst nightmares I’ve ever had. I won’t describe it, but it had to do with my parents. They were both alive and refusing to get involved in my attempt to save a hideously mutilated child. The little girl had most of her face torn off. From there it became…
Crawface
March 29, 2014
Physically, I’m far from attractive. But I would never let someone take a knife to my face or inject it with stuff to make it smoother and more “youthful.” For one thing pillowfaces just look weird, not young. My livelihood doesn’t depend on my looks. If it did I certainly wouldn’t ruin my appearance the…
A choice I never had to make
March 28, 2014
As Mom and Dad got more enfeebled, I became obsessed with a scenario that haunted me day and night. First I bought guns to protect my parents, since they were the victims of a home invasion, Mom could barely walk, and Dad kept getting into fights with strangers. But the guns wouldn’t have prevented what…
Grampa can say anything
March 5, 2014
I have far too many bizarre physical problems to list. Here are the major ones. Three kidneys, three cowlicks, a baby tooth with no permanent tooth under it, no gastrocnemius on my right calf, the longest ear canals in medical history, and Meniere’s disease. The weirdest issue is that when I shave, the skin on…
Google is pretty scary
March 3, 2014
I opened a Google+ account to improve my search-engine optimization (SEO). It’s completely insane. Nothing makes sense. You put something in place, and then it changes. Why? No idea. After I made a Ghosts and Ballyhoo photo album, the order of the photos changed. Photo Number One became Number Nine, Number Seven became Number Eighteen,…
The joys of having a nonfunctional brain
February 22, 2014
The last coherent thing my father said to me was, “It’s hell when your brain doesn’t work.” Since I’d been knocked for a loop by the knowledge that we’d come to the end of the road, and now he’d have to go into hospice, I spoke without thinking. “Well, think of it as a vacation,”…
Interview with a spambot
January 25, 2014
It could be a coincidence, but a couple of days after I outed Mike Albee and Lura Dold of Sandpiper Publicity as frauds and con artists who scammed me for $40,000, my Website has been getting hundreds of spam e-mails per hour. Since this is beyond inane, I made an interview by lifting unedited passages…
Cronyism
January 19, 2014
I was surfing around, waiting for next week to begin so I can start up the next phase of my publicity campaign. On a blog that’s run by two brothers whose work has appeared in The Washington Post and The Los Angeles Times, I found a post on the movie Lone Survivor. In the piece…