I’ve always loved “Stuck in the middle with You,” by Stealers Wheel. You hear it once, and it’s in your head for good. Trying to make some sense of it all But I can see that it makes no sense at all Bassist Tony Williams has a Fender Musicmaster, a short-scale and the first bass…
Fraud is the new normal
January 24, 2014
I hate fakery. When I was in college, a guy on my dorm floor overturned his BMW as he tried to pull into the parking lot. He ended up in a ditch, upside down. A tow truck was called, and his Beemer was removed. He and I were not exactly friends, but we spent a…
Introducing my two favorite con artists
January 23, 2014
I’d like to introduce you to my two favorite con artists, Mike Albee and Lura Dold of Sandpiper Publicity. Stand up, kids! Don’t be shy. Mike also runs another fake company, Magnus Publicity. Let’s give Mike and Lura a hand! Mike has a long history of defrauding people. Unfortunately for me I didn’t see this…
The calm before the storm
January 17, 2014
Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the day Mom and Dad took their first steps on the journeys that removed them from my life. Tim and I didn’t commemorate it in any special way. We commemorate our parents daily, talking about what they did and why. The one favor our parents did us by dying…
A letter to Mom and Dad, Part One
January 16, 2014
Dear Mom and Dad: Today I got some really good news, which I’ll keep to myself for now. In case you hadn’t heard, I signed up with a fake publicity firm that stole almost $40,000 from me. The guy who runs the company has no background in the publishing industry. What happened was that Tim…
A letter to Mom and Dad, Part Two
January 16, 2014
My letter to Mom and Dad continues. 28. On April 14, Mom, you came home. You refused to eat or exercise, even though you’d been told over and over that you needed to do so in order to be a good candidate for chemotherapy. We fought about it, and you accused us of criticizing you….
A big thank you to everyone who read my book
January 15, 2014
Even though things didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped, I want to give a big thank you to everyone who read Ghosts and Ballyhoo and sent me messages. I read them all, and they mean a lot to me. The next phase is going to be very satisfying. People who commit terrible acts of…
Seeing only what you want
January 14, 2014
A little followup on the reason why my publicists thought they could scam me without repercussions. It’s a classic case of seeing only what you want. The answer came to me when I reviewed e-mails that an interviewer sent. Writing about the book, your publicist refers to your humility… To me, you come off as…
Falling Down
January 13, 2014
It’s 3:30 a.m. I originally posted this on August 12, 2013. Now I’ll directly address the person I’m going to make famous. You read this and misinterpreted it, you dope. Like that cretin who interviewed me for the long article, you thought I’d become some kind of emasculated, half-assed Buddhist, forgiving all transgressions and plumply…