It was a very hard night, the worst since Mom died. I listened to people on the radio discuss their experiences with evil spirits, being possessed, having demons make them look like old women, and all manner of meretricious claptrap. The host had that super-earnest quality, like he was trying his damnedest to get across…
How things got better
October 22, 2013
I had a love-hate relationship with Howard Jones’s song “Things Can Only Get Better.” Though I wanted to believe, I just didn’t. There was no evidence that Howard was right. Loved the music, though. The bass line of this live version is one of my favorites. Carmen loved it too, the reason I never listened…
Advice for survivors
October 20, 2013
I’ve heard it from other survivors of a death, and now I’ve discovered that it’s true: Your “friends” will dump you. There are lots of reasons. They don’t know what to say to you, the death reminds them of their own mortality, they’ve never even thought about death, they’re not used to feeling or expressing…
Good-bye, pessimists. I’m sorry.
October 19, 2013
My father Edward Joseph Wictor was the most pessimistic person I’ve known. His favorite pronouncements were, “It’s really scary” and “Nothing’s ever gonna get better.” Here’s Dad at the age of twenty-three in 1951, serving in the U.S. Coast Guard at LORAN Station Bikati. Dad being Dad, the only thing I know about his time…
Why I no longer hate
October 8, 2013
It’s easy to hate. Look around at the arrogance, deceit, corruption, and criminality you see every single day. Listen to the cretins on the radio. Read Tweets from obscenely wealthy celebrities who take your money and in return wish death on you because you don’t share their opinions. Growing up, I hated my father and…
Stand fast
October 8, 2013
“Stand fast!” was the war cry of Scottish troops. It means don’t give up. Don’t surrender. Be resolute. Be unyielding in your principles. The more I see people compromise their morals and standards, the more determined I am to stand fast. Someday I’ll write extensively about this period in my life. The temptation to give…
Gratitude illustrated
October 5, 2013
I talk a lot about gratitude being the key to how I achieved permanent happiness. What I mean is being grateful for even the smallest dollop of decency, beauty, kindness, love, friendship, fortune, accolade, and any other positivity I’ve left out. In 2000 I drove across the country to meet a young woman with whom…
No reason to be afraid
October 5, 2013
When I lived in Stavanger, one of my friends told me about two abandoned ocean liners moored on the island of Sølyst, near the city. You had to cross the Bybrua—a bridge—to get to them. I think this photo shows on the upper left where the liners were. That may even be them. Who knows?…
Romanian proverb
October 4, 2013
Sometimes we all feel a little Romanian. Here’s one of their proverbs: Protect me, Lord, from my friends. As for my enemies, I will take care of them myself. Once upon a time, in an abandoned Soviet embassy… Hard to believe that was almost thirty years ago. Some of my most indelible memories involve nocturnal…