Today the blog hit 54,000 views per post. It’s no longer possible for me to keep pumping money into this thing. This a truly metastatic phenomenon. However, being forced to stop is a blessing in disguise. I need to move on to other things. Metastatic growth For those of you who want a wildly popular…
Medication made me do this. I apologize
May 13, 2023
I’m on a new medication, which scrambles my brains and makes me tired. And pee. So here’s a passage from my book Ghosts and Ballyhoo. I used to be a music journalist. That forced me to spend a lot of time in Hollywood. Also, my 2007 iMac can’t handle OS 10.11.4 El Capitan. Thus I…
Explanation is in order. Here you go
April 25, 2024
Tonight’s post is an explanation of what and why. I’ve been struggling with this decision for two years. It was eating me alive. I’ve been unable to answer e-mails or get my life back in order. It was a kind of agonizing paralysis. Explanation of what After my father Edward died on February 23, 2013,…
Innocent, really stupid, and miserably unhappy
April 19, 2024
Not a day goes by without a stranger trying to disrupt my life by being what they think is shocking. They’re so innocent. I’m not capable of being shocked by negativity. What shocks me is improvement, which is why I write about the Middle East. Innocent of what can happen After a lot of thought,…
Use your gift, or it will be taken away from you
February 23, 2024
Why do some stories get to us in ways that others don’t? I shouldn’t be as upset as I am about the death of Cody Bolesta. Maybe it’s because I hit rock bottom two days ago and began making the necessary changes. I know I’ll be all right now, while Cody Bolesta is as dead…
Japan during the bubble, as requested by a reader
January 27, 2024
In 1985 I went to Japan to seek my fortune. I began studying Japanese in 1981, mostly because of my interest in Japanese military history. In the winter of 1983-1984, I spent six months in Sapporo on an exchange program. That sealed the deal. Japan was clean, orderly, and had great food. And oceans of…
Remembering and reevaluating the best Christmas I ever had
December 25, 2023
One of my great pleasures is to write in total freedom, not caring in the least what anybody thinks. Today I’m remembering the best Christmas I ever had: December 25, 1989. I lived in Tokyo at the time, and I was faced with a choice. I don’t regret the outcome. Regret is an emotion not…
Adrift no longer. Without even knowing it, I arrived
December 17, 2023
I never knew what to do with my life. In very real ways, I never had a life. Some forms of trauma are impossible to “get over.” The closest I came to having a career was the ten years I spent as a music journalist in Los Angeles. It didn’t pay anything, but my parents…
I’m reminded that you never cross the finish line
November 26, 2023
Today I was reminded again that I have an entire universe to traverse before I can sleep. I’m trying to improve myself, but there’s no finish line. In this race, you’re either a player in it forever, or you’re sitting on the sidelines. My problem is not that I’m a misanthrope; I just get furious…