Courtney Stodden has left Doug Hutchison. I don’t know much at all about either person. When they got married, I heard excerpts on the radio of a TV interview they gave. Just for fun I Googled her and saw what she looked like before she acquired her present appearance. It’s odd that he’s aged two…
All parents die
October 31, 2013
Got an e-mail. What are you so upset about? All parents die. Indeed. All humans die. However, there are different ways of dying. Would you rather die in your sleep at the age of eighty-five, or would you rather be flayed alive at the age of thirty? I’m upset at the manner of my parents’…
Swimming at last
October 28, 2013
Dave, The Best Therapist in the World, told me that my situation was similar to a person afraid of learning to swim. It wasn’t water that scared me but emotion. Feeling deep emotions was terrifying. I was raised to think that genuine emotions were dangerous. This was a tradition on both sides of the family….
Vergangenheitsbewältigung
October 28, 2013
The Germans are great at coming up with words to describe the complexity of human existence. Schadenfreude. “The humor one feels at another’s misfortune.” Laughing when someone’s pants fall off in public, for example. Backpfeifengesicht. “A face badly in need of a fist.” Someone who’s got the kind of face you just want to smash….
Preach it, Gene Simmons!
September 14, 2013
I don’t have anything to say about Gene Simmons’s personal life. I did watch his reality show for a season, the one in which his children confronted him with his failings. I’ve also seen the episode where he went to Israel to meet his half-siblings and visit his father’s grave. To me he made a…
On the “Worst Obituary Ever”
September 12, 2013
Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick died at the age of seventy-eight. One of her daughters authored the following obituary: Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Aug. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused…
The Bird Stole Fruit
September 11, 2013
Twelve years ago I lived in Tim’s house. At about 7:30 on the morning of September 11, 2001, I suddenly heard, “Tom! Tom!” As a child I often heard my name called perfectly clearly, in a voice that was neither male nor female. I still remember the timbre. I’d go find Mom and ask her…
My cyber self is born
September 6, 2013
My Extravagumbo Website—the one you’re reading—is finally online. Its nine months of gestation matched my own, and its course in life seems destined to match my own. Welcome to the world, cyber self! Fasten your seat belt, take your Dramamine, and strap on that cup. You’re gonna need it! Here’s the battle your daddy fought…
Trees were unclean
September 2, 2013
My father hated trees. In his world, trees were unclean. He hated the leaves they dropped, and he hated the shade they provided. To him, shade connoted sloth and secrets. Shade trees in your yard meant you were lazy and had something to hide. A moral, upright man had no trees. The lawn of a…