Thomas Wictor

Archive for the ‘Current events (sorta)’ Category

What the Japanese said to me about Pearl Harbor

I lived in Tokyo from 1985 to 1991. The reason I left Japan was that I was burned out on the culture. Carmen felt the same way. We were tired of the strangeness, the drinking, the deeply unhealthy attitude toward sex, and the inability of the Japanese to form close relationships with foreigners. We were…

 

Read More

My blue eyes are brown

The Hampshire College Sex Blog got a question from Anonymous. How do you recommend women keep their genitals fresh and clean without any unnatural products? Here’s the beginning of the answer: Great question! First, we’d like to quickly address the language of saying “women” instead of “female-bodied people:” not everyone who identifies as a woman…

 

Read More

Norway’s great, except for the Norwegians

A Norwegian soccer player’s wife has upset some people by sharing a selfie of her unravaged postpartum body. Caroline Berg Eriksen is also a “health reporter,” whatever that is. In response a Norwegian blogger named Suzanne Aabel wrote a fairly incoherent piece both criticizing and praising Berg Eriksen and her critics and supporters. The fact…

 

Read More

Snowden test disproves all conspiracy theories

You can think Edward Snowden is a hero or a traitor. Either categorization is accurate, depending on your criteria. The most important thing about him is that he unwittingly created the Snowden Test, which proves that most if not all conspiracy theories are bogus. Choose any one of the many out there. 1. The government…

 

Read More

“I can’t do this to me!”

One of the funniest cartoons I ever saw showed Senator Joseph McCarthy as a spider all wound up in his own web—trapped, struggling, shouting, “I can’t do this to me!” I wish I could remember the cartoonist’s name. That’s one of my favorite lines. I’ve used it for years whenever someone self-implodes. Alec Baldwin’s TV…

 

Read More

Of course you know this means war.

The U.S. Postal Service has stolen another irreplaceable postcard. As my Aussie pal Butters told me, that was a real show stopper. Probably a grenadier of Assault Battalion No. 5 (Rohr). The sleeve badge is remarkable. The card was stolen in New York. This means war. I spent the morning changing all my bills to…

 

Read More

This old man says thanks but no thanks

Apparently this ad is real. Susie and Nate: Hot to trot…Let’s hope he’s as easy to get as this birth control. My health insurance covers the pill, which means all I have to worry about is getting him between the covers. But how could anyone resist you, Susie? Nate’s already yours. See how he’s playing…

 

Read More

God did a little dance

Tim likes to say about people who’ve had happy, successful, fulfilling lives, “God did a little dance around him (her).” Like me, he doesn’t actually believe that the Creator singles out individuals for blessings. It’s just Tim’s shorthand for, “It’s great that someone has had such good fortune. I’m glad for them.” A little more…

 

Read More

The eleventh hour, eleventh day, eleventh month

Today is Veteran’s Day, November 11, 2013. It was Armistice Day, the end of combat operations between the belligerents of World War I. The ceasefire took place at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of 1918. It’s always been rather disgusting to me that people can negotiate and fight at…

 

Read More

Should I learn how to be a Mexican?

I don’t follow sports at all. Today on the radio I learned that a football player named Richie Incognito was suspended for using racial epithets against his former teammate Jonathan Martin. Here’s where it gets completely deadly for us as a culture, indicating pervasive rot that will bring us down if not excised immediately. Incognito—I…

 

Read More